Struggle with finding my inner joy

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It’s hard to find your inner joy when someone else’s foot is 5 inches from your face.  Let me explain.

Yoga has been a part of my life for the past seven years.  The more I practice the more I learn about myself.  It allows me a glimpse of the joyful and free person I can be in all areas of my life.  Last nights class was a perfect example. 

The instructor said we were starting the class with a mediation on finding our inner joy.  Sounded good to me.  But unfortunately that’s about as far as I got.  The class for me was a complete disaster.     

As I sat on my mat and went about my pre class routine I watched the room go from empty to bursting in a matter of minutes.  This meant that people had to shift their yoga mats around to accommodate the extra people that were coming in, me included.  

The first time I moved my mat I was happy to do so.  I re centered myself and went about with my pre class stretching routine.  Then more people came in which I wasn’t too happy about but I accepted it and moved my mat again.  And then three more people came through the door just as class was about to begin which meant I had to move my mat yet again.  I was officially upset.       

Just as the instructor was about to start the meditation one last person came through the door.  The instructor came over to me and asked if I could move my mat just a little bit closer to the wall to make room them.  I did so and found myself 6 inches away from the wall and 2 inches away from the back of this persons mat.  Inner joy…I don’t think so.

As the class moved on the instructor kept asking, “How are you doing at finding your inner joy?”  I haven’t found it yet! 

Truth is, I wasn’t looking for it.  I was too busy choosing to be negative.  I didn’t give myself the gift of leaning into my inner joy.  

It’s a simple choice really.  We are always at choice.  We can either choose to hold onto a resentment which can feel heavy or we can choose joy which can feel light.  To me last nights class was a perfect reminder of what I should be working on. 

I hope wherever you are right now you can find your inner joy.  Let go of whatever it is that you are holding onto that might be making your day heavy and lean into joy.  

I’ll be (trying) to do the same.  

Namaste,

Zachary