Negativity drug

pexels-photo-278312.jpeg

The other day was my birthday and it was amazing.  My wife spoiled me (even though I didn’t need to be spoiled) and I got to spend it with my daughter which made it truly special for me.  But it’s the day after my birthday that I want to talk to you about.

As you might already know I’m not a big social media guy.  In fact I’m only on Facebook 2 or 3 times a year.  I believe this story is a perfect example as to why.  

When I got up the morning after my birthday one of my first thoughts was I wonder what kind of birthday love I got on Facebook yesterday?  Completely ignoring my heart (which is my true authentic self) I grabbed my phone and logged on.  

Within seconds I found myself in a place of lack.  There were birthday wishes written on my wall but not nearly the amount that I used to receive when I was an active Facebook user.  I found myself wondering why people that I hadn’t talked to in years didn’t wish me a happy birthday.  

And here’s the kicker.  I intuitively knew ahead of time that this was what I was going to find yet I went on there anyway.  In that moment I was using Facebook as a negativity drug. 

As I sat there feeling ‘less than’ I realized I could do one of two things.  I could go deeper down the rabbit hole of lack and make a complete mess of my day or I could acknowledge my pain and be okay with it.  I’m happy to report that I chose the latter.  

Yes my Facebook experience made me sad and… I’m okay with that.  That’s huge growth for me.  My old self would’ve jumped online and looked for a woman to validate me or played video games so I didn’t have to feel my uncomfortable feelings.  

The point is stuff comes up for us and it’s what we do in these moments that’s important.  I use to trick myself into believing that I couldn’t handle the pain that I felt from something and by doing that I didn’t allow myself the gift of being me.  When we are truly okay with something we can process through it and allow it to leave us.  

Once I allowed my disappointment to leave I remembered that I am the love that I was chasing.  Me.  Just as you are the love that you might be chasing.  When we can remember this the world becomes a much better place.

Lots of love,

Zachary, the Conscious Father