What must we let go of in order to grow?
Twelve years ago there were parts of my life that were calling for expansion yet I wasn’t doing anything about it. I wasn’t going for my dreams or exploring new things. I wasn’t expanding the boundaries of my comfort zone and embracing the unknown or living without limits.
In fact it was the exact opposite. I was living a life of fear, hiding out in television and video games.
I wanted to be a writer, yet every time I went to take action, to try and move the needle in that direction, I would get uncomfortable and reach for the tv remote or game controller to numb my emotions. It was a pattern of mine that I was slowly becoming aware of - running away from a bigger life, AKA, running away from myself.
Day after day nothing changed. I would attempt to write but as soon as I got uncomfortable I would immediately reach for the remote like a child reaching for a binky, desperate for soothing. Around and around I went and I got nowhere.
That’s when I took radical action(in a good way) for the first time in my life. I put my television in the closet and I sold my video game console.
The way I figured it was, I can either get busy living life or I could keep hiding. It was me drawing a line in the sand for myself. Holy shit, what did I just get myself into?
With my television in the closet and my Xbox sold, life, obviously, looked very different. Instead of coming home and turning on my television or getting lost in the world of gaming, I came home and made healthy dinners for myself. I sat and journaled about my feelings. I listened to music and cried. And I wrote(a little).
Did I get frustrated because I didn’t have anything to “check out” with? Yes. Was I present for that frustration? Almost.
My phone! Thank god I still had my trusty smart phone. Shake of the head. Same pattern.
On any given day I checked Instagram, the weather, and my favorite sports app like my life depended on it. I would check Instagram and then I would check the weather again. Then I would check the sports app again, and then Instagram again. Then I would check the weather again and on and on I went.
I would easily reach for my phone 50 + times a day. By the way the weather tomorrow in the desert will be a high of 105.
Point being, it was a whole lot of disconnect from ME. I wasn’t a meteorologist. I didn’t need to check the weather all day long. It was me still doing what I did with television and video games - using whatever I could to hide.
So I went on a self-imposed social media hiatus and came up with a routine where I left my phone in the other room whenever I would sit down to write. I was putting myself into a form of withdrawal and in the process I was up-leveling my life.
Let me say this (and not to scare you) – up-leveling your life can be physically uncomfortable. Some days it felt like my head was in a vice and my throat felt closed. Other days my body felt tired and run down because it wasn’t used to being anything but closed and restricted.
The important thing is I kept at it, and slowly, little by little, I learned to spend time with the scared parts of myself that were used to hiding. It was like building a new muscle.
The best part - I started reaching my writing goals and in the process, I found the unlived life that was waiting within me all along.
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Self-awareness is a powerful tool for self-transformation. So let me ask you – where do you hide when you get uncomfortable? What's one thing you could eliminate right now that would dramatically improve your life?
Is it scrolling? Complaining? Being late? Is it sugar? Too much television? Judging others?
Whatever it is, you can let it go! Are you ready?
If you are, I’ve created a thirty day group coaching program specifically around this that may serve you and meet you exactly where you are.
Inside this 4-week, intimate setting, participants will commit to eliminating something for 30 days in order to make room for new miracles, possibilities, and opportunities to emerge.
With Loving,
Zachary