As you’ve hear me share before, I went through a good chunk of my adult life thinking that there was something wrong with me. Trust me when I tell you - it showed up everywhere.
Perfect example: I was convinced that women weren’t attracted to me. Seriously. Even the ones that went on dates with me!
As such I would zero in on any behaviors or mannerisms that said they weren’t interested in me and then convince myself that there was no chance of her liking me – even if she really did. I would literally convince myself in the middle of a date that the woman sitting across from me was having the worst time of her life.
And it didn’t stop there.
I did it with job interviews, studying people’s reactions and mannerisms and making up stories with a snap of a finger. I did it when I met new people for the first time. I even did it with close friends.
Why? Because that’s what I valued and I didn’t take responsibility for it.
I didn’t realize that the value I had chosen was hurting me. Not only was it disempowering but it gave me absolutely no shot at anyone or job I was interested in. My “value” caused me to hurt myself before someone else ever could.
Can you relate?
When we take responsibility for our lives it brings back a power within each and every one of us that we get to take out into all areas of our existence.
Bryon Katie said “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” She’s saying it’s our attachment which in my opinion, IS our responsibility.
I’m in a season of life right now that has all of my routines turned upside down. As such I find my values wanting to go back to the way they were long ago – that life is hard and nothing ever goes my way.
And that’s not me taking responsibility. That’s my old value system that doesn’t serve me anymore. That’s why I’m sharing all of this. I’m choosing to take responsibility for my life today and right now that means putting one foot in front of another and taking care of the next right thing that needs to get taken care of.
The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for your life is the first step to making lasting change.
That’s what I’m choosing to work with today. Showing up to the best of my abilities when change is all around me and taking responsibility along the way.
What about you?
Love,
Zak