As a life coach, I have the privilege of helping people become who they really are inside and identifying anything in the way of that. Seeing what’s in the way and then overcoming it is what turns a good life into a great life.
No matter how successful someone is, there’s always opportunities for growth. These are usually subconscious habits and behaviors that if we were aware of them we would just stop.
One of these patterns of behavior termed in my industry is running a racket. Let me explain.
Remember the old gangster movies where there was a store front like a candy store or a butcher shop but in the back, perhaps downstairs in the basement, all the bad stuff happened? It looked one way, but there was something else behind it?
They call this running a racket and gangsters did it to get away with their dirty work. Meaning there was a payoff for them.
If a racket is a scam then one way it can play out in your own life is through persistent complaints about yourself or others. Or another way of saying it - a consistent way of behaving that keeps you from having a fuller, more enriched life.
For example, a persistent thought of mine in the past was I’m not good enough. It was a limiting thought that liked to show up in different areas of my life.
When I started to grow my business it would come up for me. Who am I to reach out to that person? I’m not good enough at what I do.
When I looked in the mirror I saw it. My body isn’t in good enough shape.
When a friend of mine canceled on me at the last minute I heard it. If I was a good enough friend they wouldn’t have canceled on me.
For me the payoff was simple – running my racket kept me in a victim mentality and my life small. It allowed me to avoid responsibility because there was distorted comfort in familiar pain.
The problem though is that running a racket also comes with a cost.
Like costing me the feeling of fulfillment when I reached out to someone new in my business. Or costing me the chance to connect with myself on a deeper more loving level when I looked in the mirror.
It also cost me the opportunity to have deeper friendships build on trust. Running my racket was costing me my life!
It’s not that I wasn’t good enough – I wasn’t good enough waiting to happen. That’s how I was listening in the world.
See?! My friend canceled on me. Proof that I’m not good enough!!
If our listening and language creates the world around us then our listening is the foundation of our house and our language is the walls all around it.
As a coach I like to pay attention to things like this. I’ve noticed over the years that some people have a listening that creates a world of scarcity or I can’t do it or I’m overwhelmed.
In fact I recently had an exchange with a client that was struggling with this. It wasn’t that he was actually overwhelmed, he was just overwhelmed waiting to happen. That’s how he was listening in the world. That was his payoff and it was costing him.
So let me ask you - where are you running a racket in your own life? Not sure if you are? Here’s how you can tell.
Look at all the constant complaints that you have in your life against other people (or yourself) and ask yourself this question - Is there a fixed way I’m being? Then get radically honest with your answer.
If there is, do you see a payoff? And if you see a payoff, what’s it costing you?
Once you know the payoff and cost, you have the right to choose. You can still choose the payoff but at least it is a conscious decision to keep running your racket. And if you want to let go of your racket altogether it’s time to get uncomfortable by stretching the boundaries of your comfort zone.
Many of us try to avoid this place at all costs but it’s where you will grow the most. It’s where we are forced to make a choice – stay with what’s comfortable or go where you fear? This can be life changing.
Up until now, consciously and unconsciously, you’ve thought that the payoff of your racket (if you're running one) appeared more important than fulfillment – your life. Take this new awareness out into your world and take a stand for yourself.
Love,
Zachary
PS~ When is the last time you recognized your racket? Reply back and let me know so I can further support you with resources and encouragement.