I don’t ask for a lot in life. I’m pretty simple really.
Yet there are times when I absolutely lose my cool over things that are completely out of my control. And when this happens I tend to blame God. Yeah you read that right.
Let me give you a recent example -
I’m in a fantasy football league (I know, dork alert) and nothing went my way this past Sunday. Seriously, nothing.
For example, a player on my team that was coming back from an injury, a guy that was supposed to be eased back into action, had a career day. Did I start him? Nope.
A different player that I traded to a different team because of his lack of production had a huge day. And another guy scored a touchdown yet the play was overturned and my points were taken away.
I can keep going, but hopefully you get the point. It was one thing after another after another and honestly, it felt like God was punishing me.
There was I was, alone in my living saying things like -
Why are you doing this to me? Is it too much to ask for a win, God?
Oh BTW, my team hasn’t won a game yet this year.
Deep sigh.
That’s where I go to with things like this. I convince myself that God or the universe is messing with me. Punishing me!
And that right there is the indicator that something is off. When I put so much importance on something outside of myself to make me feel better on the inside I know my self-care routine needs a checkup.
Look, I’m pretty sure God has better things to do then mess with me. At least I hope so.
Maybe a loss is just a loss. We don’t have to give meaning to every little thing in life. When the deal at work falls through it’s not because the universe is conspiring against you. It’s just a deal that fell through.
And if a loss is just a loss then what’s underneath that? Our emotions. And that’s what this article is really about.
So here goes….
I’m sad. I miss my family. I miss daughter (when she’s not with me). And I guess I’ve been trying to mask that with something else.
Look, sadness is important. It’s a vital part of our well-being and it can help us recover from loss. It helps us adapt to life’s difficulties and more importantly, allows us to move forward.
Ignoring it, or trying to cover it up with something else, doesn’t work. That’s just trying to force something (in this case happiness for me) which is what I’ve been trying to do with fantasy football.
It’s time to sit still and feel my feelings around my divorce. That’s where I’ll find my win.
Love,
Zak