The last time I sent out a blog was this past July. I wrote about intentions vs commitments and the difference between the two.  

I wrote about how people intend to do things but sometimes don't follow because they don't have a system in place that guarantees success.  

But what I didn't write about is what happens if you don't honor your commitment to yourself? What happens if your system breaks down? That's what's really important here in my opinion. 

This article was first published on tinybuddha.com.  You can view it here as well.
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I walked on eggshells in my relationship. I did for the past ten years.

I tried to design everything out of my mouth to lead to the least amount of friction between my wife and me. And you know what? It hurt our relationship.

I don’t know what to write right now. Seriously, everything coming through my fingers onto the screen looks and sounds horrible. This is the last thing I want to be doing.  
 
I’d rather be paying my bills or cleaning my townhome. I’d rather be doing laundry or washing my car. Oh that reminds me, I need to drop off my dry cleaning tomorrow morning.  

There was a job a number of years ago that I really wanted to get.  It was a remote role and I immediately reached out to someone that I knew within the organization expressing my interest.  
 
When the acquaintance got back to me saying they would be happy to share my resume with the hiring manager I believed in my heart that the job was mine.  I was convinced that it was my job to lose.

As you’ve hear me share before, I went through a good chunk of my adult life thinking that there was something wrong with me. Trust me when I tell you - it showed up everywhere.
 
Perfect example: I was convinced that women weren’t attracted to me. Seriously. Even the ones that went on dates with me! 

I was a guest on the Commitment Phobe podcast last year which is hosted by wonderful human being – Tanai Milgram.  We had a great conversation during the recording and I left feeling really good about showing up and being of service by sharing my story.
 
But when I listened to the recording, I immediately judged myself.  There were a couple of times during the course of the recording where I was asked one thing, and I went off on a completely different tangent, not even answering the host’s question. 

Have you ever felt really good one minute and then completely horrible about yourself the next?  For example, I was recently working on an article that I felt really good about when all of sudden, out of nowhere, I thought it was the worst thing ever.  

I used to come home from work and watch television and play video games every single night. It was my pattern. My comfort zone.

I said I wanted more for my life but I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t pursue my dreams or explore new things. 

When I was twenty-four years old I was living in Riverside, CA.  I was a college graduate and a law school flunk out, and I was lost and didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life. 
 
Until one day it hit me – I was going to follow in my mom’s footsteps and be an actor.

Set your day before your day sets you. Let me explain what I mean.
 
I spent years letting the world around me dictate how I was going to feel each day. I would wake up and the first thing I would do was reach for my phone and start scrolling. 

Are you familiar with the ladder of consciousness?  In the simplest of terms – it’s a ladder.  But for the sake of this article – it’s so much more. 
 
At the top is where we have access to things like creativity, imagination, gratitude and problem solving to name a few.  It’s where we operate at our highest capacity or potential.

Are you familiar with The Hero’s Journey?
 
The Hero's Journey, or the monomyth as it’s called, is the common template of stories that involve a hero who goes on an adventure, is victorious in a decisive crisis, and comes home changed or transformed.

The other morning I received my twentieth “no” for a group coaching program I’m launching later this month. The first couple of “no’s” were no big deal but come the twentieth one I started to internalize things a little more.

What must we let go of in order to grow?

Twelve years ago there were parts of my life that were calling for expansion yet I wasn’t doing anything about it. I wasn’t going for my dreams or exploring new things. I wasn’t expanding the boundaries of my comfort zone and embracing the unknown or living without limits.

Earlier this year I was the unhappiest I had ever been. I had created a life of external conditions and unbeknownst to me they were limiting my ability to be happy - on the inside.

Do you manage your outer life to make you feel better on the inside? Let me give you an example of what this looks like.

I have always hated my curly, ginger-red hair. Growing up it was different from everyone else’s, and “different” in my mind was a bad thing. I thought if I was different, then you might not like me and if you didn’t like me that meant I was rejected.

As a life coach, I have the privilege of helping people become who they really are inside and identifying anything in the way of that. Seeing what’s in the way and then overcoming it is what turns a good life into a great life.

No matter how successful someone is, there’s always opportunities for growth. These are usually subconscious habits and behaviors that if we were aware of them we would just stop.

As a coach and a writer I’m in the business of personal transformation using everything for learning, growth and upliftment. Not only do I walk clients through this(and people that I love), but I myself walk this path.

Recently, I had an incredible interaction with my coach which lead to me making a decision that changed my life forever. Here's what I learned.

My head felt like it was in a vice and the back of my neck was so hot you could fry and egg on it. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Eleven years ago I was in the middle of this circle. I was insecure, I settled for less and I played it safe with just about everything I did. I said wanted change but I didn’t do anything about it.