The other morning I received my twentieth “no” for a group coaching program I’m launching later this month. The first couple of “no’s” were no big deal but come the twentieth one I started to internalize things a little more.

What must we let go of in order to grow?

Twelve years ago there were parts of my life that were calling for expansion yet I wasn’t doing anything about it. I wasn’t going for my dreams or exploring new things. I wasn’t expanding the boundaries of my comfort zone and embracing the unknown or living without limits.

Earlier this year I was the unhappiest I had ever been. I had created a life of external conditions and unbeknownst to me they were limiting my ability to be happy - on the inside.

Do you manage your outer life to make you feel better on the inside? Let me give you an example of what this looks like.

I have always hated my curly, ginger-red hair. Growing up it was different from everyone else’s, and “different” in my mind was a bad thing. I thought if I was different, then you might not like me and if you didn’t like me that meant I was rejected.

As a life coach, I have the privilege of helping people become who they really are inside and identifying anything in the way of that. Seeing what’s in the way and then overcoming it is what turns a good life into a great life.

No matter how successful someone is, there’s always opportunities for growth. These are usually subconscious habits and behaviors that if we were aware of them we would just stop.

As a coach and a writer I’m in the business of personal transformation using everything for learning, growth and upliftment. Not only do I walk clients through this(and people that I love), but I myself walk this path.

Recently, I had an incredible interaction with my coach which lead to me making a decision that changed my life forever. Here's what I learned.

My head felt like it was in a vice and the back of my neck was so hot you could fry and egg on it. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Eleven years ago I was in the middle of this circle. I was insecure, I settled for less and I played it safe with just about everything I did. I said wanted change but I didn’t do anything about it.

Eleven years ago I read a story that changed my life forever, for the better. It’s a story about liberation and it rocked me to my core.

My family and I are getting ready to go to Lake Tahoe for vacation. Note to self - don’t bring a dead man home with me this time. Let me explain.

I reached out to a prospective client the other day only to have them reply with a simple “no thank you”. In that moment, while reading their reply, I felt rejected.

My wife and I are in the process of buying our first house. We’ve looked at a lot of places together but when we walked into what will soon be our new home (fingers crossed) something felt magical and I immediately grabbed my wife’s hand.

Two days later we were in escrow. Talk about a big leap!

I work with a lot of people that want to create change in their life and I’ve noticed one key thing - A lot of people try to carry their past into their future. In other words, people try to create their ideal future with the tools from their past. To me that’s like going to the hardware store and trying to buy milk.

I lived in the shadows for as long as I can remember. Hiding out. Living a life I didn’t want to live anymore. Specifically, working different jobs that didn’t feed my soul. I worked hard for 20 years to make other people’s dreams come true. Not my own.

A part of me wants to eat all the junk food right now. It wants to binge watch TV, sleep in, and not workout. It wants to compare myself to others and then shame myself for not having what they have. This is the part of me that wants to hide in my fear and stay right where I am.

I want to talk to you about seeing the forrest through the trees. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the details of a problem that we forget to look at the situation as a whole. We can’t see the forest because we are stuck in the trees.

If you’re anything like me you’ve been glued to your phone this past week, mesmerized by what’s going on in the world. I’ve been swiping right (to get to the news) forty to fifty times per day, probably more, and it’s been making me crazy.

I was recently asked to write a one-page business plan for a project I wanted to be a part of.  Problem is I had never written a one-page business plan before.  What if I get it wrong?  Will they think I’m a fraud?  As I sat at my desk paralyzed with fear I immediately resented being asked to do it.  

There are two mindsets we can all have: Owner and Victim.

An Owner is someone who takes responsibility for their life.  They use language like- You can count on it.  How can I use this?  If there’s a problem, I’m the problem.  An Owner believes that life happens for them, not to them.

A Victim is the opposite.  They use language like -Why does this always happen to me? Life is so unfair.  Who can I blame?  A Victim believes that life happens to them and because of this, they get weighed down when something bad happens.

I jokingly told a friend the other day that I miss the intensity of a new relationship.  “I hate vanilla” I told him.  

I don’t really hate vanilla.  It’s just that vanilla is really hard.